Guys! Guys! Me and my buddy named his Volvo wagon!

Kinja'd!!! "Desu-San-Desu" (Desu-San-Desu)
10/21/2013 at 00:35 • Filed to: None

Kinja'd!!!5 Kinja'd!!! 14

And it's amazing! And hilarious! And horrible!

Admittedly, we'd been drinking a bit leading up to this.

Here's the car in question. It's his 240L station wagon parked beside Herr Quattro.

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Anyways, we were watching "Easier Said than Done" while talking about names for the car (he had yet to name it) and the fact that the car is Swedish and we were trying to think of famous Scandinavian racing drivers and of course Petter Solberg came up on the movie. So here's how the conversation went:

Me: "What about Johan?"

Him: "Nah...too stereotypical."

Me: "Stefan?"

Him: "Dude, I promise. My car is heterosexual."

Me: "Haha, ok. Um....Bjorn?"

Him: "It's a car, bro. Not a gay dude from the Hobbit."

Me: "What? Since when is Beorn gay!?"

Him: "Um...'bear'....?"

Me: "....fuck you, man. That's my childhood you're fucking with."

Him: "Psssh. Your childhood was fucked to begin with."

Me: "...ok, yeah, good point. What about Sebastian?"

Him: "Again, too stereotypical. It's almost like...expected."

Me: "Ok, well, does it have to be a specifically Swedish name?"

Him: "Eh...I guess not. As long as it's Scandinavian."

Me:"What about naming it after a Scandinavian race car driver?"

Him: "Like who?"

Me: "Well..." *I look at the screen and see Petter Solberg being interviewed* "What about Petter Solberg? He's like one of the biggest rally legends of all time. Name it Pėtter."

Him: "Pėtter? Like...with the umlaut and shit?"

Me: "...um...sure."

Him: "What about the last name?"

Me: "Dude, it's a car, it doesn't need a last name."

Him: "Says the guy whose car has like 5 names!"

Me: "Hey! Hey. It's 3 names, one honorific, and one suffix denoting generation! Get it right."

Him: "Riiiiiight."

Me: "You're just jealous."

Him: "No I'm not. I just think my car is as equally deserving of a last name as yours is."

Me: "Well, my car's last name is just 'Quattro', like the badge."

Him: "My badge just says Volvo."

Me: "Ok, so yeah. Use that."

Him: "No. That would just sound stupid?"

Me: "Hey, maybe not! Try it out and see how it sounds."

Him: "Pėtter Volvo?"

Me: "..."

Him: "..."

* I begin to snicker uncontrollably.*

Him: " What? What is it? Why are you laughing? What's so funny?"

Me: "VULVA!" *I laugh even harder.*

Him: "Yeah yeah, old joke is old, dude."

Me: *Struggling to get the words out between laughing fits* " No, no! It's last name should be Vulva!"

Him: "Why?"

Me: "Say it!"

Him: "Say what!? Vulva?"

Me: "NO! Say the first and last name!"

Him: "Petter Vulva?"

Me: "NO! With the Swedish accent!"

Him: "Pėtter Vulva?"

Me: "YES!"

Him: "So wha- oh...my...god..."

Me: " PET. HER. VULVA!! " * I promptly die laughing.*


And thus, my buddy's Volvo 240 Wagon will henceforth be known as "Pėtter Vulva."


DISCUSSION (14)


Kinja'd!!! desertdog5051 > Desu-San-Desu
10/21/2013 at 00:41

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That was good, my man.


Kinja'd!!! Paul, Man of Mustangs > Desu-San-Desu
10/21/2013 at 00:45

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Also:

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Kinja'd!!! POD > Desu-San-Desu
10/21/2013 at 00:53

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Hahah! Perfect.


Kinja'd!!! Hoccy > Desu-San-Desu
10/21/2013 at 01:35

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Haha, never seen "Pėtter" being used before, and I have no idea what sound that would be! The "ä" sound is something inbeetween a and e so I guess it would work haha.

Fun fact: Petter Solberg started out racing Volvo 240's.


Kinja'd!!! Desu-San-Desu > Hoccy
10/21/2013 at 01:48

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"Petter" sounds like it's spelled, whereas "Pėtter" sounds similar, but with a rolling sound where the 'ė' transitions into the first 't'. Basically it just denotes the sound of the accent.

Fun fact answer: Oh man, that is just perfect. I remember him mentioning that in the interview. It actually slipped my mind until you mentioned it.


Kinja'd!!! Kugelblitz > Desu-San-Desu
10/21/2013 at 09:04

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Next up, "Mons Veneris", just say it was a Star wars character.


Kinja'd!!! deadpedal > Desu-San-Desu
10/21/2013 at 09:08

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My friend's grandpa is constantly using this to inquire about her 240.

"How's your Vulva? Still working OK?"

Ridiculous. Jokes for days...


Kinja'd!!! Demon-Xanth knows how to operate a street. > Desu-San-Desu
10/21/2013 at 09:10

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My cousin's 240GL was called "British Grandpa" because it was the type of car a british grandpa would drive.

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Kinja'd!!! BarryDanger > Desu-San-Desu
10/21/2013 at 09:19

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Pėtter Vulva, meet the Turdo Muff. Still wish I had this swedish heap.

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Kinja'd!!! Desu-San-Desu > BarryDanger
10/21/2013 at 09:23

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Man, that is nice. Just the right amount of stance.


Kinja'd!!! BarryDanger > Desu-San-Desu
10/21/2013 at 09:28

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haha thanks, it only has 40 series tires on it in that picture but once the springs settled a bit it was a total snow plow. Great college car... the ladies absolutely loved it lol


Kinja'd!!! themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Desu-San-Desu
10/21/2013 at 09:33

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So who gave the 8-series driver a jump start when you left?

HIYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!


Kinja'd!!! Desu-San-Desu > BarryDanger
10/21/2013 at 09:34

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Eh, I wouldn't want it any lower than pictured. I'm still a function-over-form guy and anything that compromises the driveability of a car doesn't appeal to me. As pictured though? Looks great and wouldn't seem to have issues with speed bumps or rubbing.


Kinja'd!!! Desu-San-Desu > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles
10/21/2013 at 09:38

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Daaaayyyuummmmm! Lol.

Actually, his car was the best running there at that point. My Audi was still waiting for the new fuel filter to arrive, the Volvo had a wiring issue and the Subaru was running rich.

Then again, the 8-series was there because the guy's RX-8 was in the shop. He said he'd bought the BMW because he wanted "something a bit more reliable than the RX-8". >.>